From 65ec9fbff422f12160d6a182c9c1c043b1276295 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Ceri Davies <ceri@FreeBSD.org>
Date: Wed, 23 Jun 2004 11:21:50 +0000
Subject: [PATCH] Rain on Tom's article, like I promised ;-)

o Some minor grammatical and spelling corrections
o Add some comments where I think improvements are desirable, but the
  initial intent was not clear to me.
o Correct a URL
---
 .../articles/relaydelay/article.sgml          | 29 ++++++++++---------
 1 file changed, 16 insertions(+), 13 deletions(-)

diff --git a/en_US.ISO8859-1/articles/relaydelay/article.sgml b/en_US.ISO8859-1/articles/relaydelay/article.sgml
index 5988de6193..699e99f35d 100644
--- a/en_US.ISO8859-1/articles/relaydelay/article.sgml
+++ b/en_US.ISO8859-1/articles/relaydelay/article.sgml
@@ -46,19 +46,19 @@
 	spammer most likely moves on to the next host in place
 	of trying to send the email again.  This is an excellent
 	idea; at least until the spammers begin to use software
-	that offers try again.  But how does this work exactly?
+	that offers to try again.  But how does this work exactly?
 	Well, when an email is received the message
-	<acronym>ID</acronym> is stored	in a database, the
+	<acronym>ID</acronym> is stored	in a database and the
 	<errorname>TEMPFAIL</errorname> is returned along with the
 	email.  If the email is resent, the message
 	<acronym>ID</acronym> will be checked against the message
 	<acronym>ID</acronym>s currently stored in the database.
-	If it exists than the email is permitted to reach its
+	If it exists in the database then the email is permitted to reach its
 	intended recipient.  Otherwise,	the <acronym>ID</acronym>
 	will be stored and a <errorname>TEMPFAIL</errorname> will
-	be issued.  This cycle will continue with every email which
+	be issued.  This cycle will repeat with every email which
 	comes into the server.  From my personal experience, this
-	really does cut 90% of the spam.</para>
+	really does cut out 90% of the spam.</para>
     </abstract>
   </articleinfo>
 
@@ -67,13 +67,15 @@
 
     <para>&os;&nbsp;4.X includes <command>perl</command> in the base
       system, but we need the threaded <command>perl</command>.
-      Users of &os;&nbsp;5.X may start the process after the forthcoming
+      Users of &os;&nbsp;5.X may start the process after reading the forthcoming
       note.</para>
       
     <para>Remove the base <command>perl</command> and all
       traces of <command>perl</command> from the system with
       the following command:</para>
 
+    <!-- XXX This looks like too much; "Half of my home directory is
+	      missing!" Won't use.perl do? -->
     <screen>&prompt.root <userinput>find / -name '*perl*' | xargs rm -rf</userinput></screen>
 
     <note>
@@ -88,8 +90,8 @@
     <para>Install <filename role="port">lang/perl5.8</filename>
       with the <makevar>USE_THREADS=yes</makevar> variable
       set.  The current version of <command>perl</command>
-      may need to be removed first, errors will be reported
-      by the install process if that requirement exists.</para>
+      may need to be removed first; errors will be reported
+      by the install process if this is necessary.</para>
 
     <note>
       <para>&os;&nbsp;4.X users will need to run the
@@ -126,8 +128,8 @@
       port.  As of this writing the <filename>Makefile</filename>
       contains a line beginning with <makevar>BROKEN</makevar>,
       just remove it or comment it out.  It is only marked
-      this way because &os; does not either have nor installs
-      a threaded <command>perl</command> package.  Once that
+      this way because &os; neither has nor installs
+      a threaded <command>perl</command> package by default.  Once that
       line is removed it should build and install perfectly
       fine.</para>
 
@@ -142,7 +144,7 @@
       <command>fetch</command> command:</para>
 
     <screen>&prompt.root; <userinput>fetch http://projects.puremagic.com/greylisting/releases/relaydelay-0.04.tgz</userinput></screen>
-    <screen>&prompt.root; <userinput>fetch http://lists.puremagic.com/pipermail/greylist-users/2003-September/000261.html</userinput></screen>
+    <screen>&prompt.root; <userinput>fetch http://lists.puremagic.com/pipermail/greylist-users/attachments/20030904/b8dafed9/relaydelay-0.04.bin</userinput></screen>
 
 <!-- NOTE TO TOM RHODES:  HAVING THE SOFTWARE LINKED HERE IS A BAD IDEA IN
      CASE SOME ASSHOLE UPDATES IT.  I SHOULD PROBABLY ARCHIVE THE OTHER URL
@@ -196,7 +198,7 @@
     </note>
 
     <para>If everything worked correctly a new file,
-      <filename>relaydelay.log</filename> should exist in
+      <filename>relaydelay.log</filename>, should exist in
       <filename role="directory">/var/log</filename>.  It should
       contain something similar to the following text:</para>
 
@@ -232,7 +234,7 @@ Starting Sendmail::Milter 0.18 engine.</programlisting>
     <para>Edit the <filename>whitelist_ip.txt</filename> file and
       modify it to include <acronym>IP</acronym> addresses of servers
       which should have the explicit abilities to bypass the
-      <application>relaydelay</application> filters.  i.e.: domains
+      <application>relaydelay</application> filters.  i.e., domains
       from which email will not be issued a
       <errorname>TEMPFAIL</errorname> when received.</para>
 
@@ -283,6 +285,7 @@ Passed Recipient: &lt;local_user@pittgoth.com&gt;
 
     <screen>/var/log/relaydelay.log                 644  3     100  *     Z</screen>
 
+    <!-- XXX What text does this note belong with? -->
     <note>
       <para>At some point there was an error about improper
         <command>perl</command> variables in the